The Joy Journals

Stop chasing perfection

Trying to live up to other people’s expectations or pretend that their life is better than yours is one of the fastest ways to feel inadequate. Believing in the illusion of perfection can bring a lifetime of doubt and anxiety as you chase after the greener grass on the other side. But the reality is that the grass is pretty good where you are right now. And it’s your grass. So why not be satisfied now? People often ask me; how can I be satisfied with things the way they are when I want to do and have so much more. My answer is simple.  Until you can feel satisfied with where you are right now, feeling appreciative of all the things that contributed to your life at this moment, you will be at the mercy of your Ego’s need for continual validation.  Ego will say:  you should have done better, you should be more like her, you aren’t good enough.  Those are the very feelings that will sabotage your desires.  It’s about being satisfied now.
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Be kind to yourself on Canada’s birthday

We’ve all been through a lot these past few months.  I heard someone say recently that once we all resurface after the pandemic, you’ll either be a hunk, a chunk, or a drunk. It made me laugh! No matter what category you might fit into (or none of them), own it and accept that’s where you are right now.  Be kind to yourself instead of berating your tender soul. Appreciate that you did the best you could under the circumstances.  Be grateful for your resilience. Be satisfied.  Right now, good enough is good enough. Now that doesn’t mean you necessarily want to stay there if you want change.  Desiring change is natural.  It’s just that you shouldn’t be attached to the outcome.  Being satisfied means that you’re o.k. with where you are right now.  You’re not chasing perfection in what you do or who you are.  It’s o.k. and you’re o.k.  Give yourself a break.  Good enough is good enough.
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Have you heard about the butterfly effect?

There’s nothing like a global pandemic to remind you of how interdependent we are on a global scale! You’ve likely heard of the butterfly theory that suggests how the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can impact the weather thousands of miles away.  In an April 14, 2020 Fast Company article by Parag Khanna and Karan Khemka, they reinforce this concept even further, with sobering predictions for the future by saying, “In chaos theory, the butterfly effect describes a small change that can have massive, unpredictable consequences. An insect flaps its wings and, weeks later, causes a tornado. The coronavirus is more like an earthquake, with aftershocks that will permanently reshape the world.”  If there ever was a time to take our heads out of the sand and realize that we are indeed connected, now is the time! 
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How will you help mend your sacred community?

What does it mean to be part of a community? For some, it’s about coaching a youth sports team or volunteering with a service club.  For others it’s about lending a hand to a neighbour.  And for many, it’s about supporting the local economy by working in and buying local. But at the end of the day, it’s about belonging to a place where we can feel safe, trusting that when in need, the community will have our back. Over the past several weeks I’ve seen many gestures of community at its finest. Kindness, generosity of spirit, and neighbours helping neighbours. I’ve seen staff at local businesses working hard to ensure we have groceries and other essential services.  And I’ve seen dedicated essential workers at hospitals and charities serving the needs of our most vulnerable residents.  That’s how a community shows it’s accountable to everyone.  
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Who is in your sacred circle now?

Who are the friends and family members who you most depend on? The ones you know will keep their promises. The people who hold themselves accountable for their actions. The ones who are authentic? Now ask yourself the same question. Are you someone who people in your sacred circle can trust? Being accountable to others is probably more important now than ever before. We need to be able to trust each other to be honest if we’re not feeling well so that everyone in our sacred circle is protected.  We need to be able to trust that what someone says is truthful and that those closest to us have our best interest in mind.  In today’s reality of COVID, accountability is everything.
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Do you keep your promises?

Do you sometimes feel that you’re being selfish if you take time to practice self-care? Do you think that the needs of others should take precedent? Do you feel that you’re not worthy of attention? In actuality, the opposite is true. Self-care is about self-respect. And it’s the starting place for taking personal responsibility for what happens in your life. It’s about knowing that only you can create your own reality and that you are 100 percent accountable for your thoughts and deeds - nobody else. And if you don’t like the reality you have created, you are the only one who can change it. Time to stop feeling like a victim. You’re not doing anyone any good if you feel that way.
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Do You Daydream?

Imagination is a powerful tool.  It’s the juice that enabled Michelangelo to see what others couldn’t.   It’s also the starting place for creation. You need to be able to step outside the confines of your perceived reality to envision something new or different.  And once you have that firmly in your mind, then like Michelangelo did when he carved his many masterpieces, you can start from the end. You see, he saw the finished carving first in his imagination. Then he allowed it to materialize. That’s power. The good news is we all have been given that same power. We just have to sharpen our creative muscle by spending more time dreaming. This is an eloquent poem by the English poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge that poses a thought-provoking question about the power of imagination.  I was first introduced to this poem in Wayne Dyer’s book Wisdom of the Ages.
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Are you experiencing a creative block?

If you’re a creative rebel and you’re feeling sort of stuck right now with all the distractions and upheaval, perhaps today’s blog can help.  I too can let the noise and confusion of the world around me interfere with my need to express myself through my creative passion of writing.  And sometimes there’s just too much inner clutter that needs to be purged so that I can come back into balance and the words will flow more freely once again. Sound familiar? If you’re already familiar with chakra work, you know that the 2nd chakra or the sacral chakra as it is known, is the energy centre attributed to sexuality, sensuality, fertility, creative life force and your joy for living.  It’s really the centre of feminine energy and the foundation for new beginnings, which is the fundamental basis of creativity.
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Are you a creative rebel?

Taking a risk these days when everything seems so upside down, seems like the most impractical and irresponsible thing to do.  But what if taking a risk was actually the safest thing you could do?  This is what I mean. Let’s face facts.  Life is never going to be the way it was before the pandemic. In fact I’m beginning to think that we will all look at this as a dividing point in time. I would call it PRE-COVID and  POST-COVID. And trust me, they are going to be fundamentally different. So if you agree with my prediction, then why not create the reality you want from a position of intention as opposed to from a place of victimhood.  But that will take creative courage.  It will mean becoming a creative rebel. In my May newsletter Joy Matters, I included the chapter from my book Being Joy™ called Be Creative in which I relayed the story of how I became a creative rebel and why I think it’s important to be one. So what is a creative rebel and how do you know if you are one?
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What inspires your creativity?

Years ago when I was struggling with some physical health challenges, I went to see a Japanese chiropractor who also performed laser acupuncture.  While she was providing her treatment, she asked me what I did for a living and whether or not I felt fulfilled.  She must have sensed that I was stressed.  I explained that I felt adrift and really didn’t have a clear sense of purpose. I had just come through a serious illness, had temporarily lost my vision and was trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. This is what she said. “What did you like to do when you were a little girl?” Without even a moment to think, I knew the answer.   “I really liked to write.  I made up stories and even wrote some poems when I became a teenager.” I’ll never forget what she said next: “Then go do that.”
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