In this month’s first and second blog posts, I told two stories that demonstrate the first two important steps on the road to forgiveness — that of acknowledgment and acceptance. Today’s offering will talk about the third vital step – letting go.
So often we replay the guilt, shame, or trauma from a past experience as if somehow we can change what happened. We stay “stuck in story”. The reality is that we can’t change what happened, but we can change the meaning we give it and the hold we allow it to have in the present moment and our future self.
In my good friend Matt Landsiedel’s book Be the Space, Matt says that surrender and forgiveness go hand in hand and that forgiveness is all about working with resistance. He says that: “Being stuck in a continuum of time is one sure way to suffer in this life.” He goes on to say that “Forgiveness without surrender is merely denial.”
Now, I’m not suggesting that letting go is easy.
For many, the attachment to the grievance can be the thing that has defined them for years – it has become a real part of their persona. For some it results in the feeling of unworthiness. Others adopt the blame game for everything that happens in their life. While some seek revenge, either by harming themselves or others. Resistance has consequences.
But there is a grace in surrender. It is a liberating gift that you bestow upon yourself that removes the shackles of a past that cannot be changed but can be forgiven.
In Wayne Dyer’s book The Power of Intention, he says. “hold no grudges, and practice forgiveness” and quotes a passage from A Course in Miracles that I have shared with you here.
“Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it.
Do you want happiness, a quiet mind,
a certainty of purpose,
and a sense of worth and beauty
that transcends the world?
Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed,
a gentleness that can never be hurt,
a deep abiding comfort,
and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?
All this forgiveness offers you.”
I have an assignment for you this week that may help heal old wounds.
It’s from Chapter 25 of my own book Being Joy™. I’ve done this exercise myself and can attest to its results. It’s a powerful activity that you can do anytime you need to forgive yourself or someone else.
WRITE A FORGIVENESS LETTER to yourself or someone else that you have had difficulty forgiving. Unleash your feelings about the situation and at the end say, “I Forgive You.” Then as you fold the paper, say a prayer of release, and then burn the letter. You have given your prayer to the Universe and released your burden of resentment.
Until next week, honour yourself and others by finding forgiveness. It will keep your frequency high, your mind open, and your joy ever expanding!
Love from your Joy Mama,
P.S. If you haven’t already read my book Being Joy™, it’s a simple 40-day practice of replacing old self-defeating beliefs with new empowering joy habits. As your vibrational frequency increases, you’ll not only experience more joy, but you’ll also be a beacon of hope for others who have forgotten their own joy. Please join me on this important mission by ordering your copy today!
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Image courtesy of Pixabay.