Do you give people the benefit of the doubt or do you seek proof of their good intentions first? Are you quick to judge and ask questions later? Are you someone who holds your breath waiting for “the other shoe to drop”? Do you see the glass half full or half empty? These questions are basically all one and the same. The answers reveal your beliefs about the world and the players in it. It’s not good or bad. It’s just how you see it. But if you are someone who struggles with poor self-esteem or worries about what bogeyman is hiding behind every door, you might want to look at how you see others. Just as Denise Linn suggests in our opening quote, trust in people has to be reciprocal.
You’ve likely heard someone suggest that you “listen to your own truth”. But what does that really mean? Isn’t there only one truth? The reality is that you don’t see the world the way it is. You actually see it the way you are. It’s your beliefs that shape your experiences which in turn defines the way you interpret your world which ultimately becomes your truth. When you change your beliefs, you change your truth. But what if you’re not sure what your truth really is? Perhaps you’ve let others define it for you. Have you let others blow your candle out? Time to take back your power.
This is the last in my September blog series about the joy habit – Be Respectful, based on my book Being Joy™. Week One talked about showing respect for yourself by listening to the messages your body, mind, and spirit were telling you. Week Two was all about improving your self-respect by showing others how you want to be treated. Last week I asked you to extend genuine respect by holding space for others to share their truth. This week I’d like you to expand your respect even further. Mother Earth needs you! There is no question that our planet’s future is in peril. You only have to watch the news or look around you to fully comprehend how fragile our eco-system is. Record wildfires, flooding, tropical storms, heat waves, droughts, polar ice erosion, green-house gas emissions, and species endangerment. We are on a collision course with a ticking time clock. But I truly believe it’s not too late. Here’s my challenge.
What would you say is the best way to show respect to someone? Is it to gush over them with compliments? Do you minimize yourself, so they know you have elevated them to a position of more importance? And do you show respect only towards people who think the way you do? As we are becoming more and more polarized in the way we perceive the world and our importance in it, I fear that we have lost the true meaning of respect. For ourselves, for others, and for this world we call home. Today’s blog is about taking the next step by sending those respect ripples out towards others so that we can begin to heal ourselves as a people. In my opinion, it’s the pathway to changing the world. So what’s the best way to show respect towards others?
Do you sometimes feel like a doormat? People walking all over you, dismissing your needs? Do you feel disrespected? When you begin to feel this way, I want you to find the closest mirror and look into it. What do you see? You might think you see a victim. But I suggest that what you really see is the person who disrespects you the most – yourself! I know, it’s a harsh truth, but the reality is that we teach those around us how to treat us based on how we see and treat ourselves. Essentially we are just attracting the same energy we are putting out. If you read last week’s blog, you’ll remember that I wrote about why I believe the joy habit of respect is one of the key doorways for remembering your joy. And that when you honour your sacred self you begin to live more fully in the high vibration of joy energy which is where all the magic happens. So how do you show others how to treat you?
Do you lack confidence and worry about what others might be thinking of you? Do you struggle with low self-esteem? Do you believe that self-care is self-indulgent? Have you been putting your needs at the bottom of the priority list? Do you then feel resentful later? Be honest. In actuality self-care is the first step towards self-respect and self-esteem. And if you don’t respect yourself, well then, who else will? You’ve shown them how to treat you. This week’s blog is all about the joy habit of respect and why it’s one of the key doorways for remembering your joy. You see, when you honour your sacred self you begin to live more fully in the high vibration of joy energy. And as I’ve said before, that’s where all the magic happens. But where to start? If you’ve never been taught how to nurture your spirit you’ve never really paid attention to the signs your body has been trying to tell you. You’ve forgotten how to listen.
For the past four weeks my blog series “The Five Letters of Generosity” has asked you to send “love letters” to people in need of joy. This week I’ll ask you to write the ultimate letter of encouragement and hope. And isn’t that what we are most hungry for during these uncertain times? We hope that kids going back to school won’t be disrupted by another shutdown. We hope that we’ll get to visit our grandparents in their nursing home soon. We hope that our small business will survive through the fall and winter. Lots to hope for. Hope is an energy that is fueled by encouragement. It shines brightest when surrounded by feelings of gratitude for what we already have. And it is inspired through the sending of and receiving of generosity of spirit. What better way to let the people of the world know we’re going to be okay. Now it’s time to let Mother Earth know we’ve got her back.
I’m often asked why living in the state of joy is so important. Other than the obvious – you feel better – living joyfully raises your vibrational frequency. So why is that so important? You see, everything is energy. People and environments are alive, connected and changing. Every atom in the universe has a specific vibratory or periodic motion. And each periodic motion has a frequency (the number of oscillations per second) that can be measured in Hertz. So when someone says they want to "raise their vibrational frequency", that means they wish to elevate their frequency to such a level that allows them to improve their physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. Because joy, love, and gratitude are the highest vibrational frequencies there are, living in those states offers you the opportunity to transcend the ordinary and live the extraordinary.
My rampage of expressing generosity of spirit continues with this week’s assignment. If you’ve done the first and second activities, hopefully you’re feeling an energetic shift from “woe is me” to “wow is me”. You see, I’ve always felt that the best way to banish worry and doubt is through service to someone or something else. It’s always worked for me. And as St. Francis of Assisi said in his famous Peace Prayer, “For it is in giving that we receive.” Now it’s time to expand your joy bubble even further. Your assignment this week is to think of a friend in need. Someone who has been struggling. They may have lost their job because of the pandemic. Or perhaps they are dealing with an illness of their own or someone in their family. COVID has been hard on many families. Your friend could be one of those people who has been suffering in silence – dealing with depression and afraid to tell anyone. But you know. This is your joy assignment for the week.
If you read last week’s blog, you know I’m on a rampage of expressing generosity of spirit this month. And your first assignment was to write a love letter to yourself and mail it. Did you do it? How did it feel? Now what? Hopefully, you’re feeling “wow is me” instead of “woe is me”. Maybe you’ve even received your letter in the mail. Powerful isn’t it? Now it’s time to expand your joy bubble. Here’s this week’s assignment. These past few months have been pretty tough for most folks. Parents worried about sending children back to school. College kids concerned about their future. Families stressed about mounting debt and an uncertain economy. Yup – lots of things to take a person away from their joy. That’s where you come in.