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The way of the gentle being…

Sometimes you can get so tied up thinking about negative things that happened in the past that you stay stuck in old stories that keep you trapped in looping energies that steal your joy. When that happens you blame and you shame. You keep playing that old story tape over and over again somehow believing that if you just keep thinking about it that you can change the outcome. Well we all know where that leads.
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A love letter to gentle fathers everywhere.

With Father’s Day this Sunday, I wanted to send a special message out to all those men who are fathers – past and present. For me, this time of year is bitter-sweet as my own father passed away in 2011.

A gentle man and a gentleman, as everyone who knew him always said, he influenced me in ways that I am only now beginning to fully understand. And one of his greatest gifts to our family was his deep and abiding love for my mother.

As children, we knew we were loved, but we also knew my mom came first in my father’s eyes. Now that may seem odd to some or even appear to be selfish on his part. But my dad understood that the strength of the family came from the strong foundation of the parents and the modelling of affection and respect that they showed for their children. That gave us great security and taught us what real love looked like. It was kind and it was gentle.
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Redefining a good man in the 21st century

It’s unfortunate that many of the males in western society have fallen victim to the hypnosis of inter-generational social conditioning that has told them gentleness is a sign of weakness. And that to express emotions somehow makes them less of a man. Our current state of global conflict and the rising suicide rate among men should be sending a strong signal that gender equality is about much more than pay equity. It’s about balance. This is what I mean.

Many of today’s males are struggling to find their place. The new “sensitives” often hide their gentleness for fear of ridicule by their peers. They are often the ones who succumb to substances to numb their isolation. And when things get too out of balance, many end it all. I’ve often said that when women get depressed, they take Prozac but when men get depressed, they take their lives. That needs to change!
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Smiling is love energy…

A smile can usually soften the edges of even the most hardened curmudgeon. It’s nearly impossible to not smile back. You start to feel the edges of your mouth twitching – maybe just a half smile. But then just like babies who mimic the facial features of their moms and dads, we’re hard-wired to respond. It’s the way we’ve learned what safety and love looks like.

I know some people who rarely smile. Sometimes its because they are self-conscious about making contact with strangers. Or they may feel insecure or distrusting of people they don’t know. But when you dig a little deeper, it’s generally because they don’t feel deserving of love. Because most times when you smile, you get a smile back. And if you don’t feel worthy, a smile is not something you search for.
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The Great Big Smile Experiment…

I have a challenge for you this week and it’s all about smiling. Here’s how it works:
  • Rule #1: You need to be the one to smile first.
  • Then keep track of every time you smile at someone and their reaction – chances are they’ll smile back.
  • Note how you feel each time you have this exchange of acknowledgement – the “I see you” of it all. How does it feel in your body?
  • Breathe it in.
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What makes you smile?

Here’s a great exercise for you today.

Make a list of the top 10 things that make you smile. And as you list each one, breathe in and smile. I guarantee by the end of the exercise your vibe will have been elevated. Look at it anytime you feel your energy getting depleted or your negative self-talk getting in the way. Look at it when you’re starting to complain about something or get frustrated by someone or something. It’s powerful medicine and way better for your health than a drink or a pill.

Here’s my top 10 for today:
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Why are inspirational quotes so important today?

Because we live in such a fear-based society, it doesn’t take much for us to become depressed and disconnected from the things that once brought us joy. And once we become “hypnotized by social conditioning”, as I’ve heard Deepak Chopra put it, its easy for us to block out our light. That’s why a daily dose of inspirational quotes can be a much-needed antidote for the darkness.

The website: put it like this:

“Inspirational quotes are important because they activate an emotional pulse point in our hearts and minds when we are in a distressing situation. The right quote can help us to see light at the end of the tunnel and give us that extra burst of hope and courage to persevere.”
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Who inspires you?

What a powerful quote by Maya Angelou, one of my favourite poets and profound thinkers of our time. And it’s so true. I had a teacher in high school who knew how to nurture the creative side of me, inspiring me to believe I could be a writer one day. And now I am!

I remember a favourite aunt who never talked down to me as a child and always listened with both ears and an open heart. She inspired me to ask questions and seek the truth. She knew how to breathe possibility into my imagination.

With Easter only a few days away and the abundance of spring flowers reminding us of new beginnings all around us, I’ve been thinking a lot about the word inspire and wanted to dig into the etymology of it. The website put it like this:
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What ideas use you?

How many times a day do you think you get an idea in your head. Which ones do you decide to act on which do you push aside?

I believe that when ideas come to us, it’s because we have summoned them from deep down in our soul. We have asked for the idea, the insight, the inspiration to help us fulfill what we’ve asked to come here to do. So why then do so many of us disregard them as meaningless thoughts or worse still, give in to the negative self-talk that says we’re not smart enough, young enough, rich enough or good enough to do anything with the idea? But as Alfred Adler advises above, be grateful for the idea that uses us. It’s a gift not to be squandered.
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